Sailor Moon and the Thirteen Year Old Famfiction Author
by Light Penguin
Summary: Sailor Moon and the Thirteen Year Old Famfiction Author: A Parody of Poorly Written Fanfiction. If you enjoy reading awful stories like My Immortal, then this is the story for you! Hi my name is SuperUltraMegaSerenaMeatBallHead200xxDariSere4eva and i am so egg salad to present a new story about a girl called Bunny Mary Sue Plot Hole String Quartet the Seventeenth who is an OC bye
1. Chapter 1

Sailor Moon and the Thirteen year old famfiction author: A Parody of Poorly Written Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon. Also, please don't bite my head off. This is a PARODY, if you didn't get that from the title. A PARODY. So please, enjoy; and if you don't enjoy it, that's fine, too.

Hello! My name is SuperUltraMegaSerenaMeatBallHead200xxDariSere4eva. But you can just call me Bunny. Hi I'm 13 years old and in 7th grade and I love fanfiction and I live Sailor Moo so I really want to write this story cus its really intersting to me and I hope you like it to. Oh and this is my first fic so plz no flames!

Chapter 1-Prologue 1-Enter the big dark hole

"Hi Darien how are you on this fine day" Serena asked Darien her her long time boyfriend.

"I am doing good Serena my love and how are you doing on this fine fine day" Darien asked Serena his longtime girlfriend who he thought had really pretty eyes and hair with meatballs.

"I am doing good thank you and have you heard there's a new girl at the school we both go to" Serena said. It was morning and they were both going to school walking, they went to Sailor High School and Serena was a freshman and Darien is a senior going to college next year.

"No I did not hear about the new girl at the school we both go to on this fine fine day Darien said with eyes wide because he is surprised. "Who is the new girl at the school we both go to?

"Well her name is Bunny Mary Sue Plot Hole Symphony the Seventeenth" Serena said smiling And she is really pretty. She has long blond hair with big blue eyes and she wears a long blue skirt with a long sleeved t-shirt with a now on it like mine, and guess what Luna said she is Sailor Earth!"

Darien raises eyebrows because surprise. "I thought I was Sailor Earth" he asked and said this confusdedly.

"No Darien you cant not be Sailor Earth because you are a woman not a man and woman cant be a Sailor Scouts" Serena replied in a yell.

"Why are you yelling sweetheart" Darien growled. "It hurts my ears" he said kindly trying to make her stop hurting his ears which had nearly busted from her scram just a few minutes earlier.

"Oh I am sorry" Serena replied in embarrassed mint because she was in bear assed and her cheeks were red like blood.

"Hi guys!" Said a voice from behind them and Darien turned to see... Darien gapsed.

Bunny! The girl who Serena and Darien had just been talking to about a few minutes ago had appeared right in front of them, now! Darien gasped.

"Are you Bunny!" Darien asked with a gasp.

"Yes I am and who are you" the beautiful Bunny asked taking a handful of her long flowing black hair and throwing it over her shoulder like a beautiful gorgeous model because that is what pretty people do.

"I am Darien shields" he said blushing because he thought she was pretty.

"Hello Daren Shelds I am Bunny Mary Sue Plot Hole Timpani the Seventeenth" she said

"I thought you were Bunny Mary Sue Plot Hole Shmphony the Seventeenth" Darien asked confused

"No I am not" Bunny said. "I am too beautiful to be a timpani" she added because it was true.

Darien nodded "yes I agree"

"You think that I am pretty?" Bunny asked Darien and her blush was red

Darien nodded "yes" he said Because you are the most beautiful person I have ever meet"

"I think you are the most beautiful person I have had the pleasure to met to" Bunny said. She thought he was handsome with his dark curly hair and his big blue eyes

"Then will you be my girlfriend?" Darien asked and Bunny blushed

"Yes I will!" She squealed and she hugged him and Darien hugged her back and then Darien kissed her.

"I love you" Darien proclaimed.

"I live you to Darien Shelds" Bunny declaimed also.

The end.

So how did ya like my fic should I continue the story because I am Sailor Earth so Bunny still has lots she can do okay and do you like Bunny and Darien together because I do.

"... What the crap kind of story is this?" Usagi asked, wrinkling her nose at the computer screen. "It's like the author totally forgot about me! I mean, really! I would never let anyone steal my Mamo-chan!" Usagi's scowl deepened. "And I could hardly understand a thing. I mean, seriously, has this author never heard of spellcheck?"

Usagi clicked away from the story and scrolled down, her face growing more frightened and disgusted as she read the summaries for other fanfiction stories.

"They... They're all like this!" She squeaked. "Ami-chan... Why would you recommend a horrible website like this!"

The End… or IS IT?

A/N: Yay. Don't kill me. It's nearly 2:30 as I write this A/N, having just finished writing this awful-and-yet-for-some-reason-so-gratifying story.

I hope you laughed. If not, I'm sorry.

Anyway, shameless plug. If you wanna read something GOOD of mine, please check out my story entitled Sailor Moon: Haato Wa Mangekyou. I promise, it's nothing like this god-awful parody xD

Seriously, though, for some better parodies, check out my friends: zillyhwen (formerly absolutenaruto) and myomi-chan. We all wrote parodies of bad fanfictions and, well, let me just say that if you like Naruto, you'll love their parodies. Flying tonton in absolutenaruto's second chapter (which isn't up yet, I don't think. Ah well)


	2. Chapter 2

Sailor Moon and the Fourteen year old famfiction author: A Parody of Poorly Written Fanfiction CHAPTER TWO

Disclaimer: Firstly, I don't own Sailor Moon. And, second, this is a parody, as the title clearly states, of poorly written fanfiction. So, if you're not into this sort of thing, don't read. If, however, you want a good laugh, by all means, enjoy! :)

Now, on a slightly serious note (before I get scathing reviews), bulimia is no laughing matter. I decided to include it because, if you've ever seen SMA (and if you haven't, for heaven's sake, GO WATCH IT NOW), you'll know that they portray Serena as being bulimic. For comedic purposes. Similarly, here it's parodied in two ways. The first is that it's NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN. The second is that young writers often do not treat serious conditions in an appropriate manner, and they often overlook the fact that such conditions are not easy to cure. That is all. Now, back to the main event.

HELLO MY NAME IS SuperUltraMegaSerenaMeatBallHead200xxDariSere4eva BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BUNNY. Ok so I got a review telling me they liked the story and to continue so I thought ok I will continue. So here is the second chapter to this thrilling story and oh this is my first fic so plz no flames because ppl flamed last chapter but I did not pay attention to them because they are mean so if you flames I will not pay attention to you because you are mean. Ok for the rest of you, I hope you half fun because things are exciting now!" and theyre is big drama llamas up a head for

Chapter two- Enter the big dark hole

Bunny smiled at her new boyfriend Darien shields who she loved very much and had been dating since this morning. "Darien I love you" she said to her boyfriend.

"Darien, I love you too" Darien said to Bunny smiling because he loved he very much. "I think we have every class together Bunny because I saw you in class yesterday"

"Yes I remember seeing you in all my classes!" Bunny smiled "I remember because you are so handsome and I saw you and I thought you were handsome and imagine my surprise when Serena became my friends because without her we wouldn't have met"

"Oh yeah Serena" Darien said. "Yes she is wry pretty with blond hair and meatballs. But she is not as pretty as you are Bunny because I think you are more beautiful than a skinnu bathing suit model

"That is because I throw up every day" Bunny said l

"Bunny!" Darien screamed and Bunny began to cry. "You are bulemic!"

"Yes" Bunny cried tearfully with glistening lustrous tears that slipped down her defined cheeks. "Yes I am bulemic and I throw up"

Darien growled angrily "how could you you are so pretty you do not need to throw up"

"But I am fat" Bunny cried

"Yes ok well please just stop or I will not be your boyfriend anymore okay?" Darien asked

"Okay I will stop then thank you Darien you save my life!" Bunny exclaimed.

"U love you, Darien!" Bunny said loudly as Dairn and Bunny walked into their first class which was Geometry together. Darien was in a freshman class because he was so smart he finished all his classes a year early so now he only has study labs.

"I love you too Bunny," Darien said and then he kissed Bunny for a long time and Bunny liked his tongue because it was very hard and she liked his breath because it smells like my favorite smell which is peppermint because peppermint smells good.

"Okay boys and girls you cant not be kissing because that is against school rules!" Yelled the teacher ms Jeans Garter Belt (that is her name because I can't use her real name) and She was very angry because she is stupid and mean and doesn't like kids and she always gives bad homework. So no nobody likes her.

"Okay detention for you two because you are kissing and that is against rules the she screamed and Darien and Bunny were sent to the Principals office.

The Primcipal glared at them with angry eyes. "Do you two no what a Sirius offends you have done?" He yelled at them askingly.

Bunny began to cry and Darien hugged her. "Shh shh its ok Bunny we are okay we will be fine" Darien whispered.

"But we are going to be expelled I know it" Bunny said crying.

Darien winked at her and laughed. "Don't worry" he said. "The principal is…... My dad!" So we won't get expelled " Darien said.

"Oh we are lucky then" Bunny said.

"Hi dad" Darien said.

"Darien!" The principal said. "What are you doing here in my office at this time of day? Shouldt you be in ms jeans Gatter Belt geometry class right now?"

"Yeah but I was kissing my new girlfriend" Darien said. "Dad meet my new girlfriend Bunny. Bunny meet my new girlfriend Dad."

"I am pleased to meet you Dariens dad" Bunny said and shook his hand.

"I am pleased to meet you to" the principal said shaking her hand. "I will let you two to back to class now. And don't worry about ms jeans garter belt. She is a bad teacher and I am going to fire her later"

"Yay!" Darien and Serena cried because they were happy. Then they both went back to class.

"Guess what everyone "Bunny said loudly and everyone looked at her and she blushed because everyone looked at her. "Ms jeans garter belt is going to be fired later!"

Everyone cheered except ms jeans garter belt, who bust into tears and ran out the room crying.

"Yay! Free period!" Bunny said. She hugged Darien. "Darien I live you" she whispered above the cheers of everybody in the room.

"I love you to" Darien said. And then he killed her.

Yay ok so how wuss that I liked it a lot you gays and i hope everybody likes it to, my favorit chapter is next i alredy rote it yesterday after school I hope the are looking forword to it yay

A/N: Good lord, have mercy on us all. This is just so addicting, I can't seem to stop. And, truthfully, it's a great way to relieve tension. I seriously could not stop laughing while writing this. It was awful xD What's worse is that I actually put THOUGHT into this story; not the plot or characters—good God, no!—but rather, the mistakes I make. I try to insert mistakes common to most young writers, and then I go overboard and make everything ironic, and I make… I just put way too much thought into all the things that go wrong in this fic xD it's fun, though. Hope you enjoyed it! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Sailor Moon and the Thirteen year old famfiction author: A Parody of Poorly Written Fanfiction CHAPTER THREE

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon—all rights go to Naoko Takeuchi and the respective parties involved. Anyway, enjoy the parody…

HELLO MY NAME IS SuperUltraMegaSerenaMeatBallHead200xxDariSere4eva but you can call me BUNNY. Okay

sorry for the typo last chapter I meant kissed not killed ok and it was mean for people to be happy that Bunny was dead anyway she is a nice girl and she is Sailor Earth so she is a good guy! And yes she and Darien are a couple and no Serena is not going to date Darn again okay so stop leaving reviews like that okay? Anyway some of you guys said the drama last chapter was not really good so ok I got more drama in this chapter! Hope you like it

Chapter 3-enter the big dark hole

Bunny KISSED Darien back (see ok it's a kiss not a kill ok bye bye). "I love you so much" she said and he groaned at her.

"I love you too" he said groaning. And she grinned back at him because his grin made her happy.

Then the bell rang and it was time to go to second period so Darien picked Bunny up (because she was not heavy) and he carried her to the next class which was biology with a really boring teacher called Dr Wong who would always talk real slow and give real hard tests that nobody could pass. But it was okay because Darien was smart and he would always help Bunny on the hard tests.

"Abigail Angelcacke" Dr Wong said and everyone sat down because Dr Wong was taking roll.

"Present said Abigail Angelcacke who was a brown hair girl with white skin and glasses who Bunny thought was weird because she liked anime and books and did not even think about trying to be popular because she did not care, she was weird because seh did not want to be popular.

"Teresa Hwen" said Dr Wong

"Present" said Teresa Hwen quietly. Bunny thought Teresa Hwen was a weirdo because Teresa Hwen was Chinese and always was quiet and didn't talk a lot.

"Serena Unguluy" Dr Wong said

"Present!" Serena said. Serena was sad because Darien was dating Bunny now. But it was okay, because now she was dating Seiya who was much more handsome for her anyway (even though we all know Darien is more handsome than Seiya who is actually a GIRL so haha Serena).

"Seiya Stsrkight" Dr Wong said

"Present" Seiya said. He was Serena's new boyfriend. But he was a girl with long hair in a ponytail. He wore big jackets though so nobody could tell he was really a she. That is why Seiya will be a he/she from now on when I write about him/her.

"Darien Shields" said Dr Wong

"Presimt" said Darien and all the girls blushed including Dr Wong because Darien was so handsome and so was his voice which was very mascukine.

"Ok everybody is here then" Dr Wong said and then Dr Wong began to tell the class notes on cell division which is 1 divided by 1 equals 4 in meiosis and 1 divided by 1 equals 2 in mitosis (because I am really good at biology so I know this). Bunny started to cry.

"This is so hard Darien" I said.

"Shh don't worry Bunny" Darien said. "I will help you so you know. I got a 139 in this class when I took it."

"Wow a 139!" Bunny said her mouth open because shock.

"Yeah, a 139" Darien said and smiled. "Okay so Bunny repeat after me:  
1"

"1" she said.

"Divided" Darien said

"Divided" she repeated

"By" Darien said.

"By"she repeated

"1"Darien said.

"1"she repeated

"Equals"Darien said.

"Equals"she repeated

"4"Darien said.

"4"she repeated

"In"Darien said.

"In"she repeated

"Meiosis"Darien said.

"Meiosis"she repeated

""now repeat after me again Darkn said again and Bunny opened her mouth and repitd her "

1" he said loudly

"1" she said.

"Divided" Darien said

"Divided" she repeated

"By" Darien said.

"By"she repeated

"1"Darien said.

"1"she repeated

"Equals"Darien said.

"Equals"she repeated

"2"Darien said.

"2"she repeated

"In"Darien said.

"In"she repeated

"Meitosis"Darien said.

"Mitosis"she repeated

"Okay there you go!" Darien said and Bunny squealed because she was happy she could remember it now!

"Thank you Darien!" She said.

"No problem" Darien said. "It was nothing. Because I love you and that is what you do when you are in love, you hate the people you love because it is the right thing to do."

"I love you Darien" Bunny said.

"Okay hey I'm breaking this up!" Said Seiya loudly and Darien and Bunny looked at him/her.

"Okay Darien you broke Serena's heart because you dumped her for this dumb blond chick and you are stupid" Seiya said.

Darien punched Seiya in the face and Seiya flew across the room and went through the wall into the next room. "Don't you dare call Bunny dumb again!" Darien yelled.

Serena cried. "Darien you are mean you didn't have to punch him/her!"

Darien walked over to her and glared at her. "I know what you are doing Serena but you can not come between me and my new girlfriend because I live her not you. So you and Seiya need to stay out of this"

Serena nodded. "Okay."

Seiya nodded too after he/she got up. He/she was okay except his/her wrist was fractioned but it would be okay. "Okay we will stay out of it" he/she said.

Darien smiled and hugged Bunny. "Now that that is out of the way with, we can love each other forever and ever!"

"Yes!" Bunny said. Then she started crying.

Darien was concerned. "Why are you crying sweetheart?"

"It is because I am keeping a huge secret from you" Bunny said crying.

"What is it?" Darien asked.

"I... I am Sailor Earth!" Bunny said. "Go ahead, I know you want to dump me now!"

Darien shook his head and braced her with his long hard warm arms. "No" he said lovingly. "I do not hate you. In fact I have been keeping a secret too"

Bunny was angry. "What do you mean?" She asked, angry thinking he was cheating on her.

"I am Tuxedo Mask"

Bunny gapsed. "Omigosh I love him so much! And he is you'

"Yes" Darien said.

"I love you, Darien!" She said and the two killed each other again.

Then Darien got on his knee. " Bunny Mary Sue Plot Hole Opera the Seventeenth will you marry me?!" Darien said and he pulled out of his pants a large

"Yes!" Bunny said. "Yes I will marry you Darien Shelds!" Darien out the ring on her right index finger.

And then the two kissed and they married later than day and had babies and frolicked into the sunset.

THE. FLIPPING. END.

A/N: Nothing to say here except my arms hurt from writing this, since I wrote it on my iPhone while in bed when I should have been sleeping. And also. This probably made me lose brain cells. But it was fun. Childers peace, yo (only one person will understand that. But it's okay. Inside jokes ftw) Anyway, there IS a sequel (of sorts) for those of you who, for whatever strange and unnatural reason, desire one. It's not a continuation, but it's in the same style and it's written by the same "author," though the typos are worse (as I turned off autocorrect). I find it funnier than this one. In fact, I've written three of these total (including this one) and the third one is BY FAR the funniest. Let me just say that the typos get intentionally funnier. Anyway, ta-ta! I'm exhausted, and I'm also suffering from extensive brain damage due to the writing of these… things xD See ya!

-edit: Here's the 2nd one (written in the same style, but NOT a sequel): s/9558442/1/


End file.
